I passed you in the hospital. I glanced at you, and smiled. And then a second time. And then, I could see something was off. Something was out of place, yet familiar. And for a brief second, I wanted to pray for you. But then the look on your face, it clicked. You were about to lose someone, or just had. The face you had….I wore it, a few months ago when my Mom died. Eyes wide, to introduce as much air into them, and keep the tears at bay. Eyes, darting from side to side: a defense mechanism, sort of. And also, an attempt to burn this moment into the brain. To try to come to grips with what is happening.
It wasn’t his wife, because she was there, looking at him, unsure what to do. And it wasn’t a child because, they were able to function. Call it a word from the Lord, or just low hanging fruit…but this guy was losing, or had lost, a parent. I know that I know that. And in that moment, I was back in that hospital. On that horrible day. I saw myself in the bathroom, breaking down, and trying to compose myself, in the same breath. I could see the room. I could feel her hand. I relived it all, in just a second, and I’m still not sure if it was a gift from God, or something else. But in that…in all of this, time stopped, as it oft does in these circumstances. And we locked eyes. And for a second, we knew. He knew that I knew…and I knew, that he knew I understood. And while I still didn’t want to interrupt this family going thru their own experience, I did slightly smile. Because, it’s not so hard to release compassion.
It’s odd, you know. We can source our argument via Google in seconds, and rant away on social media when we want to be right. When we want to beat someone up with our knowledge. When we want to cut someone with out words. Maybe, we should err on the side of mercy. Because that’s what God desires: mercy, and acknowledgement of Him, not sacrifice.(Hosea 6:6) Not winning the argument. Jesus teaches Simon the Pharisee, in a moment, that mercy triumphs, and great forgiveness begets great love, and great faith. (Lk 7:44)God, let us be a people with a thirst for a revelation of mercy.